How are you today? Do you know yourself? I mean know yourself as in knowing the person within? Are you really yourself or are you living the life given to you by others? I mean the persona created for you by family, friends or society? Really do you know yourself? If you THINK you do, then try to answer the following:
What do you like most?
What do you think makes you to like what you like most?
What is your most intimate fears?
What are your motives?
How do you categorize yourself?
What is your best colour and do you know why it is so?
Trying to understand oneself is a big job and the problem is that many of us do not even try to to start the journey of exploration into our inner beings.
How for example do we start this journey? We start by accepting who we are first with all warts and all. It is after that , that we begin to look within.
As you begin this journey with me I wish you well.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
getting grip with grief
What is it with grief? Why is it difficult to get out of grief? How does grief take hold of one?
Losing someone that is dear can be traumatic. What is more traumatic however is the constant remembrance. The little moments remembered, the last discussions that continued to play in your head and the little instances and situations you can remember vividly.Coupled with these are the unanswered questions that race through your mind. The search for meaning and the frustration when such search seems futile. One should not forget the feeling of doing nothing that slowly creep on you the moment you realise that really your loved one had gone away finally. Meaning you can never chat again, discuss issue, get angry with or at or even laugh or share things together. You suddenly remember those things you wanted to say to them that you have not said. The questions you wanted to ask that you can never ask again.
It is only then and then that you fall deeper into feeling low. You want to ask, what is the essence of it all? What is the use of living and why are there no preaparation for death?You wonder about quickness of it for those who died without a lot of suffering and the need for it for those who had to suffer a lot before finally going. You ask yourself and project, is this the way you will go too.Then, there come the practical issues: time, invitations , money, planning the burial and all the other things death usuallay generate most especially in the African society. Also the aftermath of the burial and the problems of tying up loose ends. You wonder as you wander from day to day: what is the need for it all? Why are we here?
Losing someone that is dear can be traumatic. What is more traumatic however is the constant remembrance. The little moments remembered, the last discussions that continued to play in your head and the little instances and situations you can remember vividly.Coupled with these are the unanswered questions that race through your mind. The search for meaning and the frustration when such search seems futile. One should not forget the feeling of doing nothing that slowly creep on you the moment you realise that really your loved one had gone away finally. Meaning you can never chat again, discuss issue, get angry with or at or even laugh or share things together. You suddenly remember those things you wanted to say to them that you have not said. The questions you wanted to ask that you can never ask again.
It is only then and then that you fall deeper into feeling low. You want to ask, what is the essence of it all? What is the use of living and why are there no preaparation for death?You wonder about quickness of it for those who died without a lot of suffering and the need for it for those who had to suffer a lot before finally going. You ask yourself and project, is this the way you will go too.Then, there come the practical issues: time, invitations , money, planning the burial and all the other things death usuallay generate most especially in the African society. Also the aftermath of the burial and the problems of tying up loose ends. You wonder as you wander from day to day: what is the need for it all? Why are we here?
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