getting grip with grief

What is it with grief? Why is it difficult to get out of grief? How does grief take hold of one?
Losing someone that is dear can be traumatic. What is more traumatic however is the constant remembrance. The little moments remembered, the last discussions that continued to play in your head and the little instances and situations you can remember vividly.Coupled with these are the unanswered questions that race through your mind. The search for meaning and the frustration when such search seems futile. One should not forget the feeling of doing nothing that slowly creep on you the moment you realise that really your loved one had gone away finally. Meaning you can never chat again, discuss issue, get angry with or at or even laugh or share things together. You suddenly remember those things you wanted to say to them that you have not said. The questions you wanted to ask that you can never ask again.
It is only then and then that you fall deeper into feeling low. You want to ask, what is the essence of it all? What is the use of living and why are there no preaparation for death?You wonder about quickness of it for those who died without a lot of suffering and the need for it for those who had to suffer a lot before finally going. You ask yourself and project, is this the way you will go too.Then, there come the practical issues: time, invitations , money, planning the burial and all the other things death usuallay generate most especially in the African society. Also the aftermath of the burial and the problems of tying up loose ends. You wonder as you wander from day to day: what is the need for it all? Why are we here?